But maybe you’re asking, if it is so easy, why are so many of us stuck in lives that frustrate, exhaust, or sadden us?

From my experience, a large part of it is because spend way too much time trying to change what we CAN’T CONTROL.

We obsess about another person giving us grief. We worry about crime or terrorism, or even the chaos of our health. Anxiety and obsessing over what we can’t control leaves us feeling powerless and often means we miss the lovely path we could be taking.

It’s much more effective to focus on what you CAN DO, and to focus on the power you do have. Once you learn this 3 STEP PROCESS and the six empowerment strategies, you can use them to get out of any rut and create the reality you crave.

Step number 1: Recognize when you need a NEW STRATEGY.

Whenever you find yourself lamenting how powerless you feel, feeling like a victim, spinning your wheels in frustration, it is time for a new approach. Empowerment begins with opening up the possibilities when you feel frustrated.

I finally got on the empowerment bandwagon after spinning my wheels with my darling husband. My husband is the founder and president of a non-profit. And he starts things without following through. And I have wasted minutes upon minutes, hours, days and probably weeks being angry with him, scolding him, silently punishing him, and all to no avail.

He just doesn’t follow through consistently. And even though his dropping the ball threatens deals with clients, and therefore threatens our bottom line, I finally had to conclude that I could do nothing about his behavior! I needed a new approach!

Step number 2: Figure out what you really want.

I needed to figure out what I really wanted that didn’t involve changing him. I discovered that I really wanted to make our income more stable. When the desire is to create a solid family income the possibilities are endless.

Step number 3: Choose an empowerment strategy.

In working with people just like me, and like you, I systematically came up with six empowerment strategies. But I’m sure there are many more. Maybe you have one up your sleeve and don’t even know it. Here are my six.

1. Collaborate.

2. Contribute.

3. Play.

4. Renew, Reward, Regenerate.

5. Create.

6. Live Your Match/Mandate.

The empowerment strategy I decided to use to create my miracle was COLLABORATION. This meant that I had to figure out how to partner, delegate, swap, share, trade, and find support, to get our income and our finances more stable.

The first way I used collaboration was to become my husband’s partner by heading up member services. He contributed his best by generating leads, and I followed up on them. This really helped me to focus on what I really wanted to make our income more stable by bringing in more money, more consistently.

Also, as a collaborator, I had a duty to only use my husband’s strengths, rather than wishing he were different. If I was missing something to close a deal, my challenge was to fill in the gap with someone, or something else. I organized the membership services.

I collaborated with my husband’s partner to answer questions and help me. I collaborated with a relationship coach to figure out exactly how to stay focused on what I could do. And I collaborated with a virtual assistant by delegating tons of detail work to her so I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed.

What was the end result of using the empowerment strategy of collaboration? I was getting what I really wanted. And I was actually spending less time than I did when I fretted, complained, or punished! And I got something else that I really hadn’t planned for—gratitude. I found myself totally awestruck by my husband’s ability to generate leads!

So instead of being so focused on my husband’s weaknesses, I became appreciative of his strengths.

If you’re frustrated it’s probably because you’re using unproductive, unempowered strategies. Put an end to this misery and empower yourself by: recognizing when you need a new approach, figuring out what you really want, and choosing an empowerment strategy to get the results you want. (If you want to find out if you’re “Healthy” Enough To Get What You Want, take the Empowerment Quotient Quiz at my website)

As an added bonus, every time you follow this process, you’re that much closer to permanently rewiring yourself to find solutions and get what you want, instead of being angry and frustrated. And when the angry, frustrated gunk stops clouding your vision, “miraculous” solutions seem to just pop up all over the place.